Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Footnote 2

This is a fortnightly log detailing which books I am consuming. This entry is from 19 Oct-2 Nov 2009. You can see all other entries by using the tag "footnotes entry".

Bought:
  • Grave Sight (Harper Connelly #1) - Charlaine Harris

  • Grave Surprise (Harper Connelly #2) - Charlaine Harris

  • The Darkest Pleasure (Brotherhood #4) - Gena Showalter

  • The Darkest Whisper (Brotherhood #5) - Gena Showalter

  • Covet - JR Ward

  • Tonight and Always - Nora Roberts

  • A Matter of Choice - Nora Roberts

  • Endings and Beginings - Nora Roberts

  • In From the Cold - Nora Roberts

  • For Now, Forever - Nora Roberts



Borrowed / Lent:
  • n/a


Read:
  • Grave Sight (Harper Connelly #1) - Charlaine Harris (X2)

  • Grave Surprise (Harper Connelly #2) - Charlaine Harris

  • The Darkest Pleasure (Brotherhood #4) - Gena Showalter

  • The Darkest Whisper (Brotherhood #5) - Gena Showalter

  • Tonight and Always - Nora Roberts

  • A Matter of Choice - Nora Roberts

  • Endings and Beginings - Nora Roberts

  • Charmed - Nora Roberts

  • Enchanted - Nora Roberts

  • In From the Cold - Nora Roberts

  • For Now, Forever - Nora Roberts

  • Covet - JR Ward

^Im missing something but i cant remember what..

Pining for:
  • The Third book of Suzanne Collin's Hunger Games series.... desperately pinining! I read Hunger Games early this year, and it automatically became my best book of 2009, and hit my top 50 of all time radar.. then Catching Fire came out.... so instead of choosing just one as my best 2009 choice, i think i will just have to say the seires... but i need the third book NOW! it hasnt a title, but is rumoured to be released April 2010... bring it on.... need to know what happened when she was unconcious...... o_O

  • The Desert Spear (Demon Trilogy #2) - Peter V. Brett

  • Lover Avenged (Brotherhood #7) - JR Ward --> currently only available in hard cover... bring on Dec!

  • Bed of Roses - Nora Roberts --> December but not sure of Aus import date


Suggested Reading: (either reccommendations from others, or authors/titles I've stumbled across)
  • I started the Harper Connelly series by Charlaine Harris (I devoured the Sookie Stackhouse series about 6 months or so ago), and now I've decided I must read the Lily Bard (Shakespeare) Series & Aurora Teagarden Series as well - unless someone warns me not to..

  • Joan Johnston

  • I found the following through a reccommendations thread on deviantART and thought they sounded worth checking out..
  • The Lexian Chronicles

  • Neil Stephenson, Snowcrash

  • William Gibson, Neuromancer

  • Richard Bachman

  • River World by Philip Jose Farmer

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Footnotes 1

I plan on keeping some sort of log on what books I am consuming. I no longer write down ever book, and I dont plan to again - i read too much! kept loosing track. My biggest problem is that i am constantly rereading novels... I read about 5 books a week, but I only buy one... So the need to constantly reread my novels is sadly required... my local libraries dont have any books I havent already read and are so small it isnt worth my membership... (I have such a collection of library cards) I'm going to post these fortnightly, as I hit Galaxy (my bookstore) every fortnight..... I wont mention when i read them more than once in a specified period (like i read "Foundation" twice this week).. Just to save confusion...

This entry however, is from 11 Oct-18th Oct (one week) so I can start fresh.

Bought:
  • Lover Revealed (Brotherhood #4) - JR Ward
  • Lover Unbound (Brotherhood #5) - JR Ward
  • Lover Enshrined (Brotherhood #6) - JR Ward
  • Exhile's Valour (Heralds of Valdemar series) - Mercedes Lackey
  • Search for Love - Nora Roberts
  • Unfinished Business - Nora Roberts

Borrowed / Lent:
  • Foundation (Valdemar: Collegium Chronicles) - Mercedes Lackey [to Mattchu]

Read:
  • Lover Revealed (Brotherhood #4) - JR Ward
  • Lover Unbound (Brotherhood #5) - JR Ward
  • Lover Enshrined (Brotherhood #6) - JR Ward
  • Exhile's Valour (Heralds of Valdemar series) - Mercedes Lackey
  • Search for Love - Nora Roberts
  • Unfinished Business - Nora Roberts
  • The Fire Rose (Elemental Masters series) - Mercedes Lackey
  • Foundation (Valdemar: Collegium Chronicles) - Mercedes Lackey
  • Wolf Moon - Charles de Lint


Pining for:
  • The Third book of Suzanne Collin's Hunger Games series.... desperately pinining! I read Hunger Games early this year, and it automatically became my best book of 2009, and hit my top 50 of all time radar.. then Catching Fire came out.... so instead of choosing just one as my best 2009 choice, i think i will just have to say the seires... but i need the third book NOW! it hasnt a title, but is rumoured to be released April 2010... bring it on.... need to know what happened when she was unconcious...... o_O
  • Lover Avenged (Brotherhood #7) - JR Ward --> currently only available in hard cover... bring on Dec!
  • Bed of Roses - Nora Roberts --> December but not sure of Aus import date

What book am i?




You're Roots!

by Alex Haley

While almost everyone agrees that you're brilliant, no one knows quite
how to categorize you. Some say that you're a person with an amazing family tree. Some
say that you're just a darn good storyteller. Others say that you're both and don't much
care where to draw the line. What is known is that your people have been through a great
number of trials and that you are where you are because of hard work. You have nothing to
lose but your chains.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.




Haha i still dont know who i am.... ive never heard of this one before... but i like that they say im brilliant!

Friday, 28 August 2009

tumblr

I just started a tumblr account... but am not sure if i will actually use it much... kinda a cross between twitter and blogger... i like it... but am concerned with the amount of art showing up from deviantART. and I've been checking the dev accounts of the ones posting, and they arent the artists... the silly thing is, you can embed the image... its just a matter of cutting and pasting the code......

anyway its fun... my account is:

http://obsidiantears83.tumblr.com



"I think I want to buy a little book of calm. Hold the soup….. Im not Messiah material.."

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

meh...............

I'm just blogging cos I can.. I don't have anything in particular to say, and I really should be doing something else… But I can't concentrate, so I may as well ramble…

I went up to the Central Coast this weekend.. Auntie Margaret died last week. They are holding her funeral as we speak, but I couldn’t get time off work to attend… it’s a shame, because I think mum needs someone to hold her hand… that woman practically raised her. I went with mum to the cemetery and cleaned up Kenny’s grave, and (great) Granny’s one she shares with my great granddad. I also went around the cemetery and made bush bouquet for Kenny’s grave, a more exotic spray of flowers for Granny’s, and a wreath of delicate violet flowers I found for Shelley’s grave. I feel close to Granny and Kenny, even though Kenny died before I was born, and my great grandmother died when I was 5ish. I think it’s because mum was so close to them. Then we drove around the old farm. Mum is still really cut up that it was sold… She always wanted to live there but it was decided they would sell it. I have so many memories out there.. Playing on the saw sleepers with Matty pretending to be trains when I was 4ish, exploring down at the waterside.. The drive down into granddads place – with the sounds of bell birds ringing and the smell of the damp forest… It’s my heritage. My family settled that area in the 1800s, and named it, reared their kids there, made their living… and now strangers live there and we can only keep to the roads. It’s harder for mum. The first part of her life was spent there… Where as I just visited. Oh, that should clue you in. Mum is down in NSW… She is staying with my Nan on the Central Coast, which is why I visited Nan’s this weekend. I haven’t seen mum since Christmas. We are a close family, so it’s so fucking hard to never see them. I had to beg and borrow to buy a train ticket, and I went up after work on Friday. God it was so good to see her. I have to say those two days are the happiest I have been for months… I was laughing and smiling nearly the entire time… I don't do that anymore.. I couldn’t tell you why… I’m not actively depressed… it’s not wrist slitting moods, but more lethargic can't be bothered to do anything at all moods. I just can't find motivation for anything. I still haven’t fixed my computer.. I don't save money.. I read my books as soon as I get them, but then can't reread them (that for me is bad… I normally reread books at least 2 or 3 times in the first month of ownership) – I can't get into anything.. I need something fresh and new and something to motivate me… I need to get out of my brain, my thinking patterns, but I just can't. Just going through the motions, and people think its cos I don't love them anymore. I do. I’m just not me at the moment. I have no…. I don't know how to explain it. I can't tell you why, or even when it started. I just don't have anything at the moment. I can't concentrate, I can't sleep, I can't read, I can't wear my public mask of okayness. I think I need to be shocked out of it. I just don't know what to do. I don't think anyone else can help me, and I don't know how to help myself. Everything is grey and closing in. I wonder how much is genetic. I wonder how much is simple exhaustion and related to my health conditions.. or if it is because I work to hard and have no time to “play harder”. My life isn’t balanced anymore, and I don't think it will ever be while I work the hours I work. Even now, I’m typing this up in my lunch hour. Can't leave the office cos I am here by myself and someone has to watch the office. I work anywhere from 9-11 hours a day, 5 days a week. I don’t have much leave saved up, and what I do have, I’m saving for my brothers wedding in October. I really need a holiday. To just get out of Sydney for a week or so and veg. But I can't justify it. As of Thursday, I’ve had this job for exactly 2 years. There will be no celebration, but the fact that I held down my first real job for 2 years is something I want to celebrate. It’s a pretty big fucking achievement! I’m tempted to bring a cake for work. Maybe I should go out to dinner or something… I want to dye my hair again this weekend as well… it’s been a while…. Most of the dye has faded, and I want to go back to vibrant red and black hair… I had planned to make an appointment at Doppelganger Hair in Enmore – they have the full goth setup. But it seems like too much effort.. like everything else…

I just need to do something…. I seem to be floating, drowning in apathy…

Friday, 17 July 2009

the Half-Blood Prince


So I saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last night. It was the best Harry Potter movie yet!! I want to go and see it again LOL It was a lot more epic that the earlier movies. The characters are growing up, and their world is becoming more and more unsafe for those not aligned with the death eaters. I think the characters are becoming more likable as well. More three dimensional. Harry is less "poor little me", Ron is starting to find self esteem and courage, Hermione is being more ... emotional (Anna, don’t get mad.. I know, she cries a lot in the books, but I mean more emotional diversity). And I have to say, my favourite of the kiddies in this movie is Draco. I’m really impressed with the way he is being portrayed. His character actually has personality now. I found in the earlier movies he was like Dudley - a mere cipher - a stereotypical bully character. He was the little Big Bad, with a sneer on his face and surrounded by his cronies... In HBP, he is a step apart. He still has his followers, but you can see how isolated he feels..... and that he is doing the isolating, because of changes to the way he perceives the world. His daddy is no longer someone who he can publicly praise, his family has forced him to do an important task, yet one which betrays his love of Hogwarts, and he has realised he is vulnerable to harm from others. He is no longer the big fish in a little pond, but just another juvenile fish in the chaotic ocean. There are all these scenes of him walking through silent corridors - however you can see groups of teens sitting around, chatting, laughing, snogging, being the little social creatures that abound in highschool. Yet here he glides through silent corridors, not a laugh or whisper to be heard.. Its very poignant, beautiful, and sad.


I still find Dumbledore to be one dimensional. I know they try to make him mysterious, but I think by saying nothing about his past (what about his sister?) they dehumanise him. He is this larger than life benevolent being that is hard to get attached to. I thought I would bawl at the end of this movie... I know I was heartbroken and shocked when I read the book... But I was moved more by the scene in the sea cave that I was by the one at the top of the tower....

The more they show of Snape, the more interesting he gets... I've always liked him, and not just because of his penchant for the dark (and omg, Alan Rickman has have most hypnotising voice...). You never quite know which side he is on until the end of Deathly Hallows, and before I had finished the books I remember agonising over this. Now I know, I can more fully appreciate the character he is. And the heartache he must put himself in for the greater good in the end of the Half-Blood Prince. He is a good fellow with a strong sense of honour and the fact that you are never quite sure if he is a reallygood spy, or gone to the darkside emphasises this more so.

I couldn’t tell you one thing about this movie that makes it better than the others... I think it is a lot of little things all working together. I think I mentioned the poignant moments this film dwells on? They are just so beautiful, melancholic and introspective, and at times heart wrenching. The scenery is gorgeous, as ever, and the set of Hogwarts has always been a favourite of mine. Its really hard to critique this movie without referring back to the book. The simple fact of the matter is that Harry, Hermione and Ron, and all their other classmates, are no longer babies. They are at the stage where they are leaving childhood behind them - its both sad and joyful, up and down, confusing and exciting. Both Ron and Hermione, and Harry and Ginny are starting to show their interests in each other, so you have the joy, heartbreak and confusion that involves. I think one of the things I like about this film is how people interact with each other... bonds are getting more layered, more diverse. The characters haven’t really set out doing grand things in their 6th year of Hogwarts. Harry is now just one of the crowd (when he isn’t playing teachers pet) and he finally has acceptance. The adventures are small ones, and I think this makes the ending all the more effective.... Harry isn’t out slaying basilisks, or rescuing maidens, but just going to school and being a teenager.

The other facet of the Half-Blood Prince is of course, that the Death Eaters are loose and wreaking havoc on a massive scale. All might be well in the insulated world of Hogwarts, but outside it is full of the smell of fear and blood. We didn’t even see Lord Volemort in this film... the threat was ominous and hanging over it, and then there was seeing him growing up with sociopathic tendencies... you started to get a glimpse into what help make Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort. Fascinating stuff!! Oh, and Helena Bonham Carter, is as always, a jewel! God I love that woman! She is perfect as Bellatrix LeStrange....


Anyway, if I had to give a rating the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, it would be an 8.5 - 9 out of 10.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

The fae in FAcEbook

You know how I NEVER dream? No, I dont mean I dont remember dreaming, but that I dont sleep deep enough to reach REM sleep... So I dont dream...

BUT I did last night..

And it was so frickin weird.......

It was a murder mystery, and the victim as a faerie... but she had myspace and facebook, and to find the killer I had to delve into her online life. It was totally surreal, but real at the same time.. The world of faerie mixed in randomly with the world of drear mundania... the every day mixed in with the unbeleivable...

It makes me wish I didnt have to wake up, so I can find out who killed her and why.... and why the big clue had been hidden in her online persona..

I wish I was a writer so I could finish the story for myself...

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

From A Whisper To A Scream

I have a new blog devoted soley to music. Basically, so much of my blogging seems to end up revolving around music, as it is one of my passions in life. And my main blog seems to be cluttered up with just random posts so I thought it was time to make it a little bit more ordered. So, from now on, all posts that are on the topic of music - which is normally when i share a video, lyrics, have a new band or song I am raving about, or on the odd occassion I get out and catch a gig (damn but i miss uni! back in the good old days when i caught a gig or two at my favourite pub every weekend with sami or greg *sigh*). So instead of posting it at Into The Fire, I will be sharing these at From A Whisper To A Scream! If it is really juicy I will cross post, but for all else, i will just be posting them at my music blog. I also have various accounts at music sites around the web, as well as a number of resources I use to keep up with music news and new releases. I have feeds and links in the side menu, as well as a last.fm widget which shows what I have been listening to on my home computer. I've been playing with colour schemes and designs and I think I am finally happy with it! So check it out and let me know what you think!?!




Thursday, 7 May 2009

May 12: ME/CFS & FM International Awareness Day

And the day comes around again.... May 12 is the International Day of Awareness for Invisible Illnesses such as Myalgic Encephalitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome(ME/CFS) and Fibromyalgia (FM). Its a day when we hope the Normals - those without these sometimes debilitating illnesses - take notice of ME and FM and become more accepting and aware of them. Over the years I have been part of many campaigns for awareness, been to parties,, fundraisers, created and distributed posters, ribbons etc. This year I am just too damn tired.. So, instead, I am blogging everywhere, and hoping someone who would not otherwise know about these illnesses might stumble upon my post and take something away with them.. Will you?

I'm going to give you some basic info on the conditions - I warn you that I have brain fog at the moment, so it is a bit scrambled... but I don’t have time to find a decent blurb on both of these conditions... If you are interested, or know someone with ME/CFS or FM, I suggest you contact your local support group or ME/CFS and/or FM association. FM and ME/CFS are both debilitating illnesses which affect those with them in a number of varied ways. There are a LOT of associated symptoms, but the main ones tend to revolve around pain, fatigue, and cognitive dysfunction (memory, brain fog etc). Commonly those with ME/CFS have more serious symptoms revolving around fatigue and sleep dysfunction, and those with FM tend to have more serious symptoms that revolve around muscular pain. Just saying ME/CFS is more fatigue than pain and FM is visa versa is too broad a generalisation. It is impossible for me to write a detailed list of symptoms for each condition - there are so many, and not every sufferer has every symptom, or the same severity of each symptom. Even me, my brother and my mother are all different. I have a double whammy - my pain and fatigue symptoms are always fighting to see who is more prominent - these days the fatigue is winning, but that is because I work full time and cant give in and sleep for a few months..

How you get it
There are three main triggers for ME/CFS and FM. Traumatic (accidents, personal upheaval like a divorce or bereavement etc) environmental (chemical exposure (factories, hair dresser chemicals etc)), or viruses (Glandular Fever, Ross River Fever, Dengue Fever etc). Some people have a triggering event and they gradually decent into ill health. Others, like me, were catapulted. I know so many people around the world with these conditions (I have both) who have told me their personal stories of ME/CFS and FM. I know people, like me who had accidents, others who had traumatic divorces, exposed to chemicals by living near factories, or long term exposure to hair dressing chemicals etc, others who had Glandular Fever, Ross River etc. Its never fun. Basically, there is a major stress on your body which triggers the illness. There are so many theories about why some people get it, and not others. I personally think there are a number.

Issues with labelling
The names Myalgic Encephalitis and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can be interchangeable, and are used in different countries. If you are talking to someone from the UK they will mostly use ME, in Australia CFS is most predominant. I’ve started using Myalgic Encephalitis because it doesn’t have so many connotations in the public mindset. Because a lot of connotations are wrapped up in the myths of ME/CFS. When it started having more diagnoses (it takes a while for doctors to be comfortable with diagnosing conditions), it picked up the name of Yuppie Flu - simply because when you work too hard - do a 40-50 hour week like I do, you are pushing your body to the outer limits of its capabilities. Add a debilitating illness, and you can end up crashing... system meltdown, system malfunction... it hits you like sledge hammer and it takes a while to recover. The only thing you can do is drop everything and try and recover.. Listen to your body and take it easy. The thing is, ME isn’t like cancer or a broken leg. It isn;t outwardly visible. You don’t have a cast on your leg, or start loosing hair from chemo. Instead, you curl up in bed, or on a chair somewhere, and try to breathe through the pain, or keep your brain working through the fatigue. It isn’t the easiest thing to do, regardless of what you may think.. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is just turn on the bedside light. Just lifting your arm off the pillow is so exhausting... It feels like lead, heavy and lethargic. The problem with being sick with these illnesses is that when you are sick it unfortunately, to the unaware Normal, looks like we are being lazy. However, talk to anyone with these conditions and they would rather have energy and be fully able of body - to be able to get up, go outside and do stuff! sometimes just being able to do the housework sounds like it could be the highlight of the week/month. If you haven’t had a chronic illness, or been extremely sick for more than a week, you may know what I mean... it is so frustrating when your body wont behave - when it wont function properly, regardless of what you do. The name Fibromyalgia is a recent one - it was coined in 1976, as the previous diagnosis of symptoms, Fibrositis did not explain the symptoms properly [fibra" (fiber) "myo" (muscle) "algos" (pain)]. Some old school doctors still diagnose patients with "fibrositis" and I know some older relatives and associates who still refer to it as such.

Why May 12?
May 12 is the birthday of Florence Nightingale, who had an "undiagnosed, debilitating disease for many decades". It is suspected by some that she had one of these conditions, but whatever she had, she is a perfect icon for sufferers of the invisible illnesses.. She was undiagnosed, and despite her health, battled on to help others in need and in pain. She later went on to found the Red Cross. The ME/CFS ribbon is blue and the FM ribbon is purple. You will often find that butterflies are associated with the illnesses, campaigns and supportgroups. For example, my friend ~VelvetMist has a forum called Blue Butterflies [link] and my state ME/CFS association's logo is of blue butterflies flying free [link]





What you can do
Educate yourself. The biggest problem with ME/CFS and FM is we suffer in silence. There isn’t a major awareness campaign out there like their is for breast cancer, or even for arthritis. We are out on the margins, hidden in the shadows. This means there isn’t funding for research, which keeps us more in the shadows. So do some reading, talk to some sufferers (I hate that word - let me know if you have a better one!).

If you know someone with ME/CFS or FM the best thing you can do is be there for them. Don’t push them around and try and force them to act normal. We aren’t a Normal like you are - we have to listen to our body and rest when we need to. Just getting out of bed and running a marathon will not cure all our ills. Being "positive" (as some people have lectured me) = preten’ing I’m not sick - it causes more problems than it cures. You can be positive and sick, but pretending you aren’t sick wont make it all go away. Our nearest and dearest not believing us, not trying to understand what we live with each minute of each day - that hurts. It makes it harder when you have no support network. It is bad enough that society doesn’t always accept us, but when our loved ones don’t, its utter hell! When they think you are crazy, pretending or exaggerating, it causes such anguish. I've been there, I can tell you that from personal experience. So if you know someone with ME/CFS or FM, just be there for them. Don’t cut them off because they "aren’t fun anymore" - if they are really your friend you don’t like them just because they are good fun at parties.. Understand that why will not be able to go out clubbing every night, or go out for dinner and drinks daily, or shopping - or go hiking or what ever - as frequently as they used to. Don’t get pissy at them when they say they aren’t up to it! If that person has said they aren’t up to it, believe me, they aren’t! Do you know how boring it is laying in bed and staring at the roof is? I'd rather be out socialising! Instead of ostracising someone because they are sick, talk to them and ask them what they would like to do.. Maybe instead of going out for a night on the town you can have a DVD night at home. Maybe, instead of going hiking, you can have a picnic in a park... its all about working around the illness. And listening to your friend/loved one. they know their body intimately - we have to - and we know when we can get up and do things, and we know when we should stay in bed and conserve our energy. talk to your friend about their conditions and learn more about them, or do some research - there are quite a number of good books and web resources out there!

On May 12, wear a blue or purple ribbon in support...

If you have time, check out Creative For a Second - its a book of art by people with CFS. It includes art by some of my online friends, my best friend ~VelvetMist and was compiled by one of my online friends ~kirrily. I was going to submit some of my art, but was sick at the time of the deadline... The book is AWESOME! The art tour launch is this Tuesday, 12 May in Bondi Junction - guest speaker is Leigh Hatcher, author of the book "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell".

Monday, 4 May 2009

Unshelved

Unshelved comic strip for Saturday, May 02, 2009


haha i do so love library strips... i think i was a librarian in another life..